Possible Careers:

1. Write a book full of natural cures that they don’t want you to know about (and do not work), diet cures that they don’t want you to know about (and do not work), and debt and recession cures that they don’t want you to know about (that also do not work) – just like Kevin Trudeau, and let the money roll in.

2. Form a church and become the figurehead/preacher – overall Joyce Meyer like figure and let the money roll in.

3. Start a cult and become the leader – see #2

4. Sell all non-vital organs and my eggs. Okay, so maybe I don’t have that many non-vital organs to sell – sell whatever I can to still live.

5. Start a sex phone hotline.

6. Be a call girl.

7. Become a reality show contestant. This will be moved towards the bottom of the list since a) I can’t even land a regular day job so how would I land a roll, and b) I would have to win to get any $$$.

8. A professional yard sale flipper. I will go from yard sale to yard sale and buy things, fix then up, and then flip them for a profit. The catch is I have to know how to fix things…..

9. Sell all of my belongings on ebay. This is looking more and more like my only option.

10. I could paint portraits for a living but it’s a recession and no one really has the money for such frivolities; that, and my style of painting isn’t exactly, uh good. I am superb at pet paintings tho.