Addressing the I shoulda’s

Looking back, there are several points where I could have made a different choice and could have possibly ended up in a different position than where I am now.

For instance, I should have refused to take the drivers test when I was clearly not ready to take it. Daddy Dearest and Mommy Dearest didn’t want to pay, at the time, the three dollars to renew my permit, so they forced me to take the test even thought I told them I wasn’t ready. They made me. It was a major failure and the evil poodle-permed, Sally Jessie bespectacled, and hot pink lipped driver cop was a bitch! It was a scaring experience; I left in tears with no sympathy from Daddy Dearest (who forced me to go). Since then I have had a freaky phobia about driving – but that could be because my g-pa used to fake die while he was driving his truck and little me would freak out and have to steer the truck so we wouldn’t go off a cliff. Yeah, maybe that’s it.

I should have gotten a real part time job in high school. My resume is bare bones looking, I mean tumble weeds are blowing through it with my lack of real job experience. I was lucky in that my parents didn’t make me get some job in high school. The agreement was as long as my grades were good and I behaved I was golden. Now, the “part-time” job I did have was baby-sitting, but that doesn’t count for anything in the real work world. I would baby-sit and make in two nights what some of my friends made in a week. If I needed something major my parents would get it for me. If I got all A’s my parents would reward me with cash or clothes that I needed. It was an exchange/deal that we had. Had I known at the time that my lack of real work experience would be a major issue I probably would have gotten some crappy high school job like the rest of my friends, but at the time I didn’t need to and it didn’t occur to me.

I should have gone away to college. Obviously my choices of schools were dependent on income. How much I could afford and how much I could get in student loans. At the time I had a crappy part time job and didn’t feel like paying thousands of dollars more for a name school that had manicured lawns and looked pretty (as Bestie 2 likes). No, I went to a local junior college and then transferred to Big Kid College. I applied and was accepted to other schools, but when I looked at the tuition/ room and board costs I quickly decided on Big Kid College. It was not in my budget to pay an absurd amount of money for a degree that may not get me anything (foreshadowing, maybe). I do not regret this decision, I learned a lot there. One of my fav old man prof’s (a retired big-wig from a StL engineering firm) , who was a floating prof from Uni to Uni, said he liked our school out of all the ones he went to because we didn’t act entitled and actually came to learn.


Anyway, I’m half and half on this one. I feel I learned a lot form the classes that I took (except prof crazy raccoon guy and some Bestie 2 moments) and I liked my school. I am bummed that I can’t find a job – shit happens. BUT, if I would have had the money I would have went far far away. AND, even if I would have went away and got away from these peeps there is no guarantee that I wouldn’t have ended up right back from where I started.