Addictions and Disorders

In a family that deals exclusively in addictions and disorders, an outsider would be shocked to note that my own family cannot or will not even spot the disorder/issue in myself.
Not all issues are traced back to drugs or a stilted emotional upbringing – although they (the family) flip flop every other discussion on whether or not a person’s character weakness is a valid excuse for their addiction and/or disorder.

In a family of freaks, why am I the one that is the poster child for not normal. Yet, they refuse to think anything is seriously wrong with me. I am just making it up in my own head - playing it for attention. Yes, because who doesn’t want to live a pathetic life like this 24/7 and have the longest running permit in history.

I will never be normal until I get the fuck out of here and everyday it is looking less and less likely that I will.

I am not addicted to drugs and have no major mental illness (that I currently know of). What I do know is that I cannot drive. There is some deep seated fear in me, some anxiety that is present every time I think about driving that I cannot get rid of. I have no license and avoid driving at all costs (a symptom of this) and that is the first thing that family members point out/ recognize, so why do they not think there is an issue behind this and its not just me saying: Hey, I don’t ever feel like getting a license to drive – I will make everyone cater to my driving needs. I know it is not normal, I know it is silly and ridiculous, and I know I have to get over it. They think I can flick it off like a switch and get over whatever is holding me back. It doesn’t work like that; nothing in this family ever does – or they would have all of their addictions and disorders under control.